Day one in a great adventure and this is what you look like when you arrive in Austria after 26 hours of traveling! Flight from SLC to Atlanta was crowded. Not a single empty seat. It was a pretty flawless flight-they even had TV's in each head rest. DAMN-they can put tv's into seats but not give you room for your legs or torso or fat rear ends. I'm relieved to know Delta has priorities. LOL I got to watch this and that and I even came in second place in a trivia game. Apparently, 5D was about 400 points smarter than I was. 5D is a SON OF A BI...scuit eater. The Atlanta Airport was nice-well the train we rode from terminal A to terminal E wasn't too bad. Then onto another flight we went. They served dinner...it was...well...disgusting. I take that back, the chicken was gross, the corn was gross, the potatoes weren't too bad, the brownie was gross. Though the cheese and cracker and 1 oz of spring water wasn't too bad. I'm happy that there was Arbys close to our gate...otherwise...it would have been ugly. The flight was long...2 movies and endless cycles of the fly by fly flying report. The last 2 hours...I knew exactly where we were every 15 minutes. It was torture, I tell you. It's like watching the clock tick one second at a time while waiting to get out of that horrible English class you're forced to take. Gyno appointments are more fun than that. At last, we landed. I probably have lung cancer now, though, so I see no reason to not take up smoking. I forgot that when you go out of the US you can pretty much smoke where you want. The Austrian Airport...was the mecca for smokers. It smelt horrible but the upside is that I won't have to look stupid when I take my first official puff because my lungs are now conditioned! In fact, after a long hot shower...I still smell like smoke. Perhaps it's not smoke at all but the country of Austria welcoming me into her sweet arms. Maybe I've been European all along and the smell just came out. ???? Questions to ponder while I should be working. PS (it's 3:55 in the afternoon and I'ved had about 2 hours sleep in 24 hours-I'M A ROCKSTAR!!!)
Any who...we tried to check into our hotel but our rooms weren't ready so we had to find something to do for 3 hours. So...we went on a futile hunt for food. Though smoking is rampant here nothing and I mean NOTHING is open on Sunday. (Disclaimer: I should say that nothing where we could walk to was open). So, we found an American staple...McDonalds. There are 2 within walking distance of the hotel we're in. Menu similar with some interesting differences. For one, they offer things called "All Stars of America-things like wings, potato wedges and these two burger things (one with corn and one with pineapple). The Corn Burger as I am calling it wasn't too bad. I feel it is my duty to inform all Austrians that these aren't not normal American McDonalds fare-it seems unjust to lie to them. PS-they handed out sour cream dip for the wedges and no ketchup. Why aren't Austrians' fat? Then we wasted about an hour just sitting there talking nonsense.
Long story even longer-checked into the hotel. Safe and sound. I do have some advise for your next trip...
1. Unless you're a size 2-you'll need to seriously consider gastric bypass. Apparently the Airlines think that only super skinny people fly. Even after losing 45 pounds-I was still super squished. So...though generally I'm not a proponent of anorexia-it maybe something to consider when flying.
2. Drugs-use them to sleep and avoid the aisle seat. If I were allowed to go postal on other passengers without ending up in some prison-I'd have kicked a few people that decided to stumble into me repeatedly while I was attempting to sleep. DRUGS people...take them. Forget that "Just Say No" garbage your parents taught you...what do they know any way.
3. If you are any taller than...oh...3 feet tall, have your legs surgically removed from the knees down. This will save you while sitting in a seat so close to the person in front of you, you might as get naked and have some fun (cause you're close...too close, get it? OH, never mind - LOL.
So, there you have it. It's not super creative-but you try this while smoking, on 2 hours of sleep watching 10 Things I Hate About you in German-yeah, I'm talented.
PEACE!
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