Speaking Of...: Home again

I arrived at the Paris airport around 7:30 for a flight that was to leave around 10:20. I got in the first line (15-20 minute wait), to then be directed to the second line. When I finally got up to the lady checking passports-I was like 4th in line and waited around 30 minutes-she was asking tons of questions-what were you here for, how long were you here, what do you have with you, etc. I was waiting for-do you like boys or girls, do you ever plan on having children or getting married? Did you pee this morning before leaving the hotel? I think she should have used one of those heat lamps and shined it directly into my eyes during the questioning. LOL. After her, I got 2 stickers on my luggage and one on my passport-bright orange ones. Then she directed me into line number 3. This line was the line for my boarding pass. I got up to the gentleman-who was quite nice compared with the others I had encountered. He asked me the same questions but he took my luggage and gave me a boarding pass. THEN...I walked to passport control and security. The line I was in was the green line-and it was HUGE and they were only using one security processing place. UH, HELLO. Any ways, 30 minutes or so later it was finally my turn. I walked through...and once again I got patted down. Seriously, I was getting so used to it...I wish I had someone at home to pat me down for "security reasons." Then I was done...or so I thought...but I was then selected for a random security screening and had to derobe...just kidding. I was selected for a random security screening and had to open my bags and they and myself got swabbed. Finally...I was free to go to my gate. I got to the gate about 10 minutes prior to boarding-it was harder to get out of Paris than it was to get into Paris. Got on the plane and sat by a lawyer guy that apparently thought fat people had cooties and that we were contagious. I thought it was funny how uncomfortable he was. It was a nice flight-food was good, I had a window, slept well, etc. Sadly though-knowing what was just 7 rows ahead of me in first class-ruined my economy experience. LOL.